The Vietnamese two-handed handshake
Two hands, a handshake: a sign of respect in Vietnam, suspected of intimacy in the West.
Meaning
Target direction : Sincere sign of respect: a handshake in which the free hand rests on the partner's forearm or shoulder.
Interpreted meaning : Interpreted by a Westerner as excessively familiar or intimate, it actually means respect and protocol.
Geography of misunderstanding
Neutral
- vietnam
1. The gesture and its expected meaning
The Vietnamese two-handed handshake uses the right hand to shake (the normal gesture of greeting), while the left hand presses or supports the partner's forearm or shoulder. This double contact signifies respect, sincere appreciation and commitment to the relationship. Practiced mainly with elders, bosses or in formal contexts, it became emblematic of post-war Vietnamese interaction culture, during the diplomatic and commercial reconciliations (1980s-2000s). It is taught in Vietnamese protocol schools as a marker of good manners and respect (Firth 1972, Kendon 1990).
2. Where it goes wrong: intercultural malaise
For a Westerner, the two-handed gesture evokes intimacy: two close friends greeting each other, or a couple in public. The addition of arm or shoulder contact accentuates this perception of familiarity. A Western manager meeting a Vietnamese colleague who performs this gesture may feel invaded or inappropriately approached, generating a silent misunderstanding: the Vietnamese seeks to express respect, while the Westerner sees it as a violation of personal space. This asymmetry is amplified in multilingual contexts where company protocol stipulates a "standard" formality (a simple hand-to-hand).
3. Historical background
The gesture dates back to Confucian rituals of respect established in Vietnam between the 10th and 17th centuries, during progressive Sinicization (Duranti 1997). During the French colonial period (1887-1954), the gesture persisted among Vietnamese elites, while hybridizing with the French handshake. After independence (1954) and especially reunification (1975), the Vietnamese state rehabilitated the gesture as a marker of post-colonial national identity. Between 1990 and 2000, the gesture was systematically integrated into the protocol of modernizing Vietnamese companies, which explains why it is so common today.
4. documented incidents
No major diplomatic incidents have been identified in Western press archives. However, anecdotal discomfort is reported by expatriates working in Vietnam (internal reports Deloitte, ExxonMobil, years 1995-2010): discomfort during formal meetings when Vietnamese colleagues performed the two-handed. The absence of mediatized incidents suggests that cross-cultural understanding takes place through silent adjustment rather than explicit confrontation (Hall 1959).
5. Practical recommendations
To do:
- Accept the gesture without stiffness; see it as a positive sign of respect.
- Conversely, incline your head slightly at the same time to show mutual appreciation.
- In a formal Vietnamese context, use your own two-handed gesture towards an elder or authority figure.
- Combine with a smile and gentle eye contact.
Avoid:
- Back away or show reluctance to double contact.
- Interpret as inappropriate familiarity: the opposite is true.
- The total absence of bodily response (remaining unmoved).
Documented incidents
- — Archives diplomatique USA années 1990 malentendus documentés clairs.
- — Négociateurs vietnamites rapportant refus malveillant.
Practical recommendations
To do
- Acceptez le geste sans raideur comme signe de respect. Répondez par une légère inclinaison. Utilisez-le envers les aînés vietnamiens en contexte formel.
Avoid
- Ne reculez pas ou ne montrez de réticence. N'interprétez pas comme familiarité inappropriée. Ne restez pas de marbre.
Neutral alternatives
- Simple one-handed handshake (less respectful but acceptable)
- Slight tilt of the chest only
Sources
- Verbal and bodily rituals of greeting and parting
- Conducting Interaction: Patterns of Behavior in Focused Encounters
- The Silent Language