Indonesian "salam" and "sungkem
Salam sungkem: nose on hand to express respect and deference in Indonesia, a source of Western unease.
Meaning
Target direction : Handshake (salam) completed by placing the forehead and nose on the other's hand (sungkem): a mark of immense respect for the elder or authority.
Interpreted meaning : Gesture likely to be misinterpreted by Westerners as excessive, suspicious or compromising; misunderstanding of its real emotional charge and innocence.
Geography of misunderstanding
Neutral
- indonesia
1. The gesture of maximum respect
The salam-sungkem is a two-phase Indonesian greeting: first a normal handshake (salam), then the greeter's right hand rises to bring the clasped hand to the forehead and nose, where it rests briefly (sungkem). This gesture is intended to "feel" the essence or blessing of the respected person. It is intended only for important elders, parents, religious authorities, spouses in the morning. Never between equals. It's the equivalent of Thai wai in terms of hierarchy, but with more intimate body contact (Firth 1972, Kendon 1990).
2. Cross-cultural misunderstanding: intimacy vs. respect
To a Westerner, sungkem seems excessive, almost compromising. Some see a quasi-erotic dimension (facial lowering, nasal contact); others fear that this gesture marks unpleasant servility or pathological dependence. In a post-colonial context, sungkem may be misinterpreted by Westerners as a vestige of colonial submission. However, the real intention is the opposite: it's a voluntary act of respect, not coercion. In Indonesia, refusing a child's sungkem to a parent would be perceived as rejection. Westerners unaware of this meaning may appear disrespectful if they evade the gesture (Hall 1966, Matsumoto 2006).
3. Historical roots: Islam and Confucianism
Sungkem stems from a confluence of traditions: Confucian respect for elders (inherited via China and Vietnam), fused with Indonesian Islamic practices of deference (kisah-kishan, story of the prophet). During the sultanate period (15th-18th centuries), sungkem was an almost obligatory gesture for sultans. Post-independence (1945), the Indonesian national state promoted sungkem as a marker of cultural identity against Westernization. School education encouraged the gesture towards parents and teachers (Duranti 1997).
4. documented minor incidents
No major diplomatic incidents. However, American expatriates (Exxon Mobil, 1970s-80s in Sumatra) reported initial discomfort with the sungkem of local subordinates, not understanding its meaning. Western managers urged Indonesian employees "not to bow down", creating confusion: the intention of respect was interpreted as humiliation by the managers.
5. Practical recommendations
To do:
- Accept sungkem gracefully as a gesture of sincere respect.
- Recognize its positive charge.
- Reciprocate by using it with important Indonesian relatives or elders.
Avoid:
- Refusal or evasion of the gesture.
- Interpretation as compromise or servility.
- Asking someone not to use it.
Documented incidents
- — Archives coloniales hollandaises mentionnant tensions refus geste.
Practical recommendations
To do
- Acceptez le sungkem comme respect sincère. Réciproquement, utilisez-le envers aînés indonésiens importants. Reconnaître sa charge positive.
Avoid
- Ne refusez pas le geste. Ne l'interprétez pas comme compromission. Ne demandez pas à quelqu'un de ne pas l'utiliser.
Neutral alternatives
- Simple handshake (less respectful)
- Slight tilt of the chest only
Sources
- Verbal and bodily rituals of greeting and parting
- Conducting Interaction
- Universal and culture-specific properties of greetings