"American "How are you?
"How are you?" is not a real question in the USA: English-speaking linguistic traps in the greeting.
Meaning
Target direction : Polite greeting with no expectation of a detailed response: an abbreviated greeting, often accompanied by a smile and a non-pause to await a response.
Interpreted meaning : A foreigner answers the question sincerely, describing his health or emotional problems, which embarrasses the American who was expecting a simple "Fine, thanks!".
Geography of misunderstanding
Neutral
- usa
- canada
1. Syntax and pragmatics
"How are you?" in American English is grammatically a question, but pragmatically a formula for social openness (Duranti 1997). The American asks it in passing, without pause, without prolonged eye contact, often followed immediately by another statement: "How are you? I'm heading to the meeting, see you there." The interlocutor is not expected to respond substantively: the formulaic response "Good" or "Fine, thanks!" suffices. If someone details his or her real situation, the American stops, embarrassed, having launched an automatic formula rather than a real question (Goffman 1967, Kendon 1990).
2. Geography of misunderstanding
To a Frenchman, German or Japanese, "How are you?" reads like an authentic question. A Frenchman would answer "Pas mal, un peu fatigué ce matin, et vous?" with an expectation of reciprocity. A German would provide details of his condition. A Japanese would see this question as an inappropriate intrusion into private personal space. The American receives these lengthy answers as an implicit breach of contract: you weren't supposed to take the question seriously. This misunderstanding creates awkward silence, where the American must either listen with feigned interest or politely cut off the answer. In multinational business contexts, this generates the perception among Europeans that the American is superficial or false (Hall 1959, 1966).
3. Historical background
This formula has its roots in medieval English, first "How do ye? then "How are you? Initially an authentic question, it gradually became automated in 19th-20th-century American English, particularly in the urban-industrial context of brief encounters (train stations, offices, shops). The efficiency of brief greetings became an American value: there was no time for a real conversation, so an empty formula was used. This practice is exported globally post-WWII with American cultural hegemony: it's the "default greeting" of the Anglo-Saxon business world.
4. documented incidents
No major diplomatic incidents. However, minor incidents of French expatriates in Silicon Valley report discomfort: after responding at length to "How are you?", they are interrupted by the American who continues a different conversation. Foreign students in the USA report feelings of rejection when they realize that Americans don't really want to know about them (academic reports, 1990-2010).
5. Practical recommendations
To do:
- Answer briefly: "Good, thanks!" or "Fine!
- Add a question of reciprocity only if the pause allows it.
- Accept that it's formula, not genuine curiosity.
- Do not give personal details in response.
Avoid:
- Long or detailed answers about your health/emotions.
- Expect the American to ask you additional questions.
- Interpreted as disrespect: this is a cultural convention.
Documented incidents
- — Tannen 1986 : incompréhensions documentées interculturel claire.
- — Études Meyer 2014 : divergences perceptions Américain-Européen.
Practical recommendations
To do
- Répondez brièvement : « Good, thanks! » Acceptez que c'est formule, non curiosité. Ne donnez pas détails personnels.
Avoid
- Pas de réponse longue ou détaillée. Pas d'attente que l'Américain vous pose questions supp. Ne l'interprétez pas comme manque de respect.
Neutral alternatives
- "How are you doing?" (equivalent variant)
- "What's up?" (very casual version)
Sources
- Universal and culture-specific properties of greetings
- Interaction Ritual
- The Silent Language