01The gesture and its meaning
In the Arab world, two men greet each other with two cheek kisses, sometimes followed by a brief handshake or arm contact. The gesture means deep friendship, brotherly trust, mutual respect with no romantic connotation. Common between close friends, allied political figures, extended family. Age irrelevant. Number of kisses varies: 2 in Saudi Arabia and UAE, 3 in Lebanon. Cheek contact with unrelated women = strict taboo.
02Geography of misunderstanding
Maximum confusion arises when Westerners observe two Arab men kissing cheeks and assume a homosexual orientation. The dynamic is structurally asymmetric: the Arab operates from a clear cultural framework (platonic brotherhood); the Westerner involuntarily projects their own gender codes. Symptoms: prolonged confused gaze, subsequent comments, relational distancing. Aggravating contexts: formal business meetings at a first encounter.
03Historical genesis
The Arab male cheek kiss is a pre-Islamic Bedouin cultural practice (Arabian Peninsula) — and not an established Islamic Sunnah. Primary Islamic sources do not trace the cheek kiss in the Prophetic tradition (IslamQA 2015: the Prophetic Sunnah establishes musafaha and muanaqah, not the cheek kiss). Quran 24:30-31 concerns visual modesty (gadd al-basar) and has no connection to this gesture. Pre-Islamic Bedouin fraternity consolidated physical contact between men as an alliance marker. 18th-19th century colonial European diplomats described cheek kissing as a strange masculine affection — a homophobic projection.
04Contemporary variants
Country variation: Lebanon 3 kisses (left-right-left), Saudi Arabia/UAE/Jordan 2 kisses. Class/milieu variation: urbanised young people in Cairo or Beirut sometimes adopt the Western handshake-only norm. In diaspora contexts (Europe, North America), Arab-origin men individually negotiate between both codes. Cheek kissing between men in Arab media and public political events remains common and unstygmatised in Gulf and Levant countries.
05Practical recommendations
Observe before acting: if two Arab men approach with open arms, anticipate cheek kisses without sexual projection. Accept the gesture naturally. Western men: overcome cultural discomfort — the gesture is fraternal-friendly. Never ask questions about supposed sexual orientation. Western women: never initiate cheek kisses with non-family Arab men. Respectful alternatives: firm handshake, benevolent eye contact, verbal greeting As-salamu alaykum.
Geography of misunderstanding
Neutral
- sa
- ae
- eg
- jo
- lb
- iq
- kw
- qa
- bh
- sy
- ps
- ma
- dz
- tn
- ly
Not documented
- sub-saharan-africa
- east-asia
- north-america
- western-europe
- indigenous-peoples
Historical origins
Arab male cheek-kiss is a pre-Islamic Bedouin fraternal practice (Arabian Peninsula, ethnographic attestation). It is a cultural Arab practice — not an established Islamic Sunnah: IslamQA (2015) notes that primary Islamic sources do not trace cheek kissing in the Prophetic tradition. Strict heterosexual taboo: cheek kissing between unrelated men and women = inappropriate (Wikipedia EN, Cultural Atlas SBS). Country variation: Lebanon 3 kisses; Saudi Arabia/UAE 2 kisses; varies by familiarity.
Practical recommendations
To do
- - Observer groupe avant rencontre : anticipez bises joues si deux hommes moyen-orientaux - Acceptez geste avec naturel—est amitié profonde platonique absolue - Surpassez inconfort culturel comme occidentaux : geste demeure fraternel - Si doute surgit, posez clarification légère « Comment préférez-vous saluer ? » - Femmes : jamais initiez bises joues avec hommes moyen-orientaux non-famille - Respectez tabou hétérosexuel strict implicite en contexte mixte
Avoid
- - Ne jamais posez questions sur orientation sexuelle supposée post-geste - Ne pas commenter geste comme « étrange » ou inconfortable - N'imposez pas réserve occidentale homophobe sur geste innocent - Ne fillez jamais sans permission explicite - Évitez suppositions sexualisées ou moqueries déguisées - Femmes occidentales : ne forcez contact joue hétérosexué
Neutral alternatives
- Solid, formal handshake (respectable universal)
- Warm eye contact with benevolent smile
- As-salamu alaykum" verbal greeting alone
- Light shoulder pressure if cheek contact impossible