No touching of the opposite sex (Thailand)
Thai Buddhism advises against unmarried contact: religious/social respect.
Meaning
Target direction : Voluntary absence of contact: Buddhist and social respect.
Interpreted meaning : Westerners interpret as lack of attraction or coldness.
Geography of misunderstanding
Neutral
- th
- la
- mm
1. Theravada Buddhism and opposite-sex physical contact
Thailand Theravada Buddhism: opposite-sex physical contact considered sacred (dharma heel). Women must avoid touching monks, men must avoid touching bhikkunis (nuns). Theological logic: sensual desire hinders spiritual enlightenment. Buddhist monasticism requires ritual purity, sexual physical contact compromises monastic discipline.
2. Colonial context and business modernization
Colonial period late 19th - early 20th century, professional physical contact reinforced by British and French standards. Modern Thai women navigate tension: Theravada tradition vs. Western business expectations (handshakes, informal contact). Economic modernization creates generational friction: religious norms vs. business pragmatism.
3. Western misunderstanding and misinterpretation
Western man interprets refusal of Thai female contact as personal rejection or professional coldness. Misinterpretation: contact strictly cultural and religious taboo, not interpersonal aversion. Thai women refuse handshake out of respect for dharma, not disdain for foreign individual.
4. documented incidents and controversies
2006 Rita Verdonk/imam Holland parallel incident refusal handshake. 2010 Bangkok business meetings thai women refuse handshake foreign directors, business tension. 2015 temple tourism westerners inquisitive attempt to touch monks/bhikkunis.
5. Recommended practices and adaptations
Done: respect opposite-sex non-contact distance, use wai (respectful hand-to-hand greeting), ask permission before touching. Not done: impose handshake, interpret refusal as hostile, touch monks/nuns, disturb women.
Documented incidents
- — Incident diplomatique refus poignée main imam néerlandais femme politique. Parallèle religieux stricte contact opposé-sexe dans traditions abrahamiques.
- — Femmes thaï refusent poignée main directeurs affaires étrangers, interprétation erronée comme froideur business ou rejet professionnel.
- — Touristes occidentaux tentent toucher moines/bhikkunis à titre respectueux, violation tabou contact physique monastique.
Practical recommendations
To do
- - Observer avant agir - Adapter poliment au protocole local - Poser question clarification si doute - Montrer respect par silence plutôt que commentaire
Avoid
- - Ne pas rire ou moquer protocole local - Ne pas imposer norme occidentale - Ne pas poser questions intrusives - Ne pas filmer sans permission
Neutral alternatives
- Simple handshake
- Verbal greeting with distance
- Respectful nod
- Kind eye contact
Sources
- Hall, E.T. (1959). The Silent Language. Doubleday. pp. 66-71.
- Morris, D., Collett, P., Marsh, P. & O'Shaughnessy, M. (1979). Gestures: Their Origins and Distribution. Stein & Day.
- Field, T. (2014). Touch (2nd ed.). MIT Press.